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Back in the Before Times

 Here in the U.S. we recently "celebrated" the one year anniversary of the COVID-19 shutdown. This past year, has been the most ... I don't even have a word to describe what I would like to express. While the past 12 months have simultaneously been horrible for the families of over 500,000 people, disastrous for so many whose very livelihoods have been pushed towards utter annihilation if not put them at significant risk (many of whom are friends of mine, more on that below), and completely bewildering for so many others; this period has also seen societal push for racial justice, LGBTQIA+ equality, and a drive for the rights of humanity like access to healthcare, a living wage, and support during times of extreme crisis ...

While I personally have not suffered much during this year, I know so many who have. We can make this world better, but we must fight for that everyday.

But I digress. Just over a year ago I attended what would be the last in-person concert I would go to at CoOpt, at least until all of this mess is over. I, as always, went in with no expectation or knowledge of the artists who were performing. The music and performance I experienced live with me to this day, due to how deeply the whole evening affected me. While I was impressed by the subtle Sciarrino-esque guitar playing of one of the artists, the noise mass music of Gray, playing under the stage name Paulastretch, was completely overwhelming to my senses. Their use of motion sensor, a personal favorite system of mine, along with the density of the music which, when paired with volume, was (is) capable of pushing everything else out of my mind and left me, for lack of a better word, infatuated. I stayed far later than I should have talking to Gray about their art. I wanted to live in that moment forever. 

Meanwhile, all around that night I remember feeling the foreboding emotional pressure of the coming pandemic, hearing the fearful and anxious whispers of artist friends discussing canceled tours, shows, and performances. I had a naïve belief that it would all pass by and things would return to where they were. The time-stretched, noise-mass music of Gray has been like a comforting audio stasis for me, holding those memories of gatherings and friends in my mind. I bought their album "Shellbody" that evening; though I did not pay enough for what I received.


"Fold" immediately envelops the listener in a fuzzy, buzzy warmth which morphs and dissolves into a lifting sound like millions of choirs singing simultaneously. This first track is fairly short, just enough to peak your interest while the other tracks vary in length from less than a minute to slightly over seven. 

"Skyrimming" centers around a rhythmic pulse holding steady as streams of sound dance around, in and our of perception before finally drifting into a throbbing, shimmering mass which transitions to a new section. obviously inspired by the track title, I feel like a steam-punk character jettisoning around in the clouds with my dirigible before passing into an infinite expanse, being left breathless at the sheer vastness of beauty flowing beyond me and all that I am and finally being left to flounder in a sea of fading shimmer.

The third track "Dragon22" continues that slow enveloping of the listener, though this time in a cold, silvery pool of sound. subtle shifts in the overtones lead the listener through an amazing space filled with sounds reminiscent of the cool reflections of water on the sides of a cave. I could wish to know the sound sources for these beautiful aural landscapes, but I fear that would break the spell.

Beginning with a flow reminiscent of breath, "Dewey" nods toward "Skyrimming" with a subtle sense of pulse surrounded by a bright flow of sound. I feel joy and hope in this music, a sense that in the end all will be well.

That joy is interrupted though, not removed by the sudden and short track "Star." Listening again I am reminded of a statue on the campus where I work; two plungers on either side of a large steel ball are to be pressed, sounding a pair of bells whose overtones, when played simultaneously, are reflective of the energy overtones of the sun. This fifth track reminds me of that; perhaps the sound we hear is the cold ringing of a blazing ball of gas shining in a distant galaxy. 

"Pardner" again has a pulsing feel but the pulses swell together to form a singular mass singing to the listener an ancient hymn from the depths of the stars before quietly fading away.

Leaving us to the final, title track. Distinctly different from the rest of the album, "Shellbody" features Gray playing guitar and singing, beautifully expressing the extents of their musicianship.

This album leaves me simultaneous filled and oddly hollow. The music is moving and beautiful filling me with that sense of awe and depth that I love, but the memory of when I first heard this artist leaves me feeling hollow. Dare I say a shell body, missing all that was, all the gatherings and friends new and old, all of the things that will never be the same again ... back in the before times.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

If ever you have wanted to financially support this blog, don't. I have the privilege of having a full-time job where blogging about and creating music can be a hobby and pass time for me. While this year has been incredibly difficult for so many, the performing arts, music, theatre, etc., have been hit especially hard. Those professions were the first to close down and will very likely be the last to re-open. Many artists were already struggling to get by and this pandemic has crushed them and left them starving and hopeless. So, instead of anything for myself, please go buy the albums from the artists I review; go look at small labels like Full Spectrum and direct retailers like BandCamp where more of your money goes directly to the artists who made the things you are enjoying. If you want to support this blog, go support the artists who have made this even possible. Without the amazing diversity of musicians and artists out there, what would we listen to, what would we watch, what would we see? 

There are also dozens of arts based aid organizations out there, so if you are not sure about buying the art directly, you can donate to one of those organizations. We are all in this together. 

Stay safe, wear a mask, think of those around you, and give if you are able.

Until next time.

~Justin

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